Debunking the Myth “You will never be ready to have kids”
Hey there, lovely readers! It’s your friendly neighborhood founder of Babyfi here, ready to tackle a topic close to my heart (and ovaries). Since my husband and I got married, and for about 8 years after that, we were constantly being bombarded with questions about why we hadn’t embraced parenthood yet even though we’ve been married for so long. People seemed to think they had a Ph.D. in our reproductive timeline. “Are you infertile?” feigning concern, “Clock is ticking, you have hit 30”, “Parenthood is the most unselfish thing you can do”, “Kids will give your life purpose!” or my personal favorite and by far the most frequent annoying comment was “You will never be ready to have kids”.
Oh, the joys of intrusive inquiries and unsolicited advice! But fear not, we’re here to debunk the myth that women would never actually feel ready for kids and elaborate on my view on how one can and should feel ready for parenthood before they embark on this immensely responsible and life-changing journey. So let’s dive in and explore how personal considerations and not societal pressures should play a crucial role in determining when the time is right for you.
Emotional Readiness - Finding Self-Awareness
As we grow older, we become more mature and self-aware. It’s like fine wine—we get better with time! The more life experiences we gather, the better we understand ourselves and what we truly want. This emotional maturity translates into being a more patient and confident parent. Imagine this: you’ve traveled, partied, studied, burned the midnight oil at work, and built the foundations of your career. When you decide to become a parent, you’ll have no regrets and won’t feel like you missed out on life’s adventures. Instead, you’ll embrace parenthood with open arms, knowing you’ve lived your 20’s to the fullest.
For me, the decision to become a parent required a lot of thought and planning. I wanted to enjoy my twenties, travel extensively, and build a strong foundation with my husband before expanding our family. Traveling, both for work and personally, was (and is) a passion of mine, and I knew that once I had kids, it would be more challenging to continue my globetrotting adventures. So, my husband and I made a conscious choice to explore the world together and create unforgettable memories before transitioning into parenthood.
Also, according to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, emotional maturity and self-awareness were positively correlated with the decision to become parents. Individuals who felt more emotionally prepared reported higher levels of life satisfaction after becoming parents.
Financial Readiness - The Art of Planning
With greater financial stability comes less stress and concern about the significant additional expenses that come with parenthood. You’ll find yourself navigating diaper duty and daycare costs like a pro. For us, financial stability played a crucial role in feeling ready for parenthood. We wanted to build a solid career foundation and achieve financial freedom before taking the plunge. This allowed us the flexibility to make the best choices for our unique journey.
Stability and security were vital factors for us. I wanted us to establish our careers, buy a house, and have a strong footing before taking on the responsibility of raising a child. Having a stable environment for our future family was a priority, and we took the time to work towards that goal.
According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, couples who reported feeling financially stable before having children experienced lower levels of stress, higher levels of overall life satisfaction, and reported a more positive experience during the transition to parenthood. The study suggests that having financial stability can lead to less worrisome parenting experience, as parents can focus on the joys of raising a child without constant financial stressors.
Physical Readiness - Nurturing Your Health
Becoming a mom is no easy feat, but here’s the secret to physical readiness. Taking care of yourself before pregnancy can significantly impact your and your baby’s health. Rest, eat well, and stay physically fit—it’s like laying the groundwork for a strong and healthy pregnancy journey. The healthier the mom is shortly before and during pregnancy, the healthier the babies will be. It’s like a beautiful symphony of well-being, with the harmony of maternal health ensuring a strong start for the little ones. Physically, I knew I wanted to be in the best shape possible before starting a family. I focused on maintaining a healthy lifestyle, including regular exercise and proper nutrition.
Research from the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology shows that women who prioritize their physical health before pregnancy have a reduced risk of pregnancy complications and give birth to healthier babies. Ok, I might not have gotten lucky with the pregnancy complications but I like to think that being physically fit before the pregnancy helped get us through the rough delivery (a story for another time).
So ladies, take your time and don’t let society, traditions, your family and friends or even your partner pressure you into rushing to become a parent if you don’t feel ready yourself. Because trust me when the time comes you will know and feel 100% ready to have kids.
And if you are never ready and dont think that’s the right choice for you, that’s great too! We don’t need a “Motherhood for Dummies” guide to validate our life choices. Whether it’s a solo adventure or a bustling family, we’re each a masterpiece in our own right. The world is a diverse and wonderful place, and it’s okay if parenthood isn’t part of someone’s life plan. No need to whip out the existential crisis card just yet. Population extinction you say? I don’t think so! Over 2 Million babies are born every week in the world. It’s like the baby assembly line is in full swing! Mother Earth isn’t in peril, folks; she’s got this covered. So, let’s relax on the doomsday theories and appreciate the beautiful diversity of life choices.
Embrace your unique journey, knowing that the readiness for kids is not a myth but a personal decision. So here’s to all the women out there, waiting for the perfect time to embark on the magical adventure of parenthood or not embark at all. Cheers to you, and may your decisions be as unique as your ovaries!
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